put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
