I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
