I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
