Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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