the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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