Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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