On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
