Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
