i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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