you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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