I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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