Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
