not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
