My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Quick, to the slutcave!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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