wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
