i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
