Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
