idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
