I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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