ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
