If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize