dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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