Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize