i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
