its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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