i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
