well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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