arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
