No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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