Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am spending my child support on dildos
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
