How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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