Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
