There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Someone came in the potted fern
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
