capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
