Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
