I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
