weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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