I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
