Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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