I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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