I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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