when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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