The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
