I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
