I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
