Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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