I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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