Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
