My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
