Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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