My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
